Mixed Emotions...

...and his words echoed unto me with utmost power and force as I turned and walked away. "Sometimes you wish that things could last forever", he said "but not now, not this time."

It was with those final words that I began to weep, one single tear quickly turning to a waterfall cascading down my cheeks.

  Maybe this was not what he wanted for us but secretly I hoped we would last forever, that our love was eternal. He was my first and I honestly fell head over heels in love with him, little did I know that all he had on his mind was sex. It was at that point I questioned whether or not "we" were real, whether or not we had something between us. Apparently we did not...

  The odd thing is, I think I still love him but I don't know why. There is this odd, almost magnetic pull that keeps drawing me back to him, wanting more. To me he is the most attractive, mysterious, alluring person I've ever known; there is something about him that makes you want to always be around him and I can't quite put together the whole picture.

  We have been spending a lot of time talking to eachother recently, a lot more than just regular friends would and he has even said things about me, perhaps just jokingly, that he still finds me very attractive. I can always tell though when he is serious and when he is not, even in text. I hope that he still has some amount of attraction to me and that maybe we could one day be together again. I know that everything would be so much better if I had someone to love. Not just that family-like love but that intense passionate love that you can only feel with the right person. You see, I honestly think that the "right person", is him.